Chain, chain, chain, chain of fools.

I can only imagine that when the word comes down from the top it has been diffused and weakened like so much pee in the ocean. If the message somehow has gained strength as it rushed from the mouths of our leaders through to every member of the team, then our leaders may in fact be in deep hypnotic sleeps.

Also most retail companies are so big that I can't imagine any real directions coming from one single office a thousand miles away. It must be some hulking beast of a man with bits of greasy food stuck to his face wildly calling for his trembling interns to bring him more money. 

Retard Rebellion

 

That's DVD spelled D-V-D

Hi everybody. This little exchange actually happened to my friend Barbara while I was working on third shift to redecorate the department. Also this exchange occuring in the comic is taking place in Wally's Retail Heaven. I myself work in Wal-Mart. So for vaguely leagal reasons they are vaguely different.

Hope you guys are checking out my buddy Pepe's website. It is quite a hoot. I had no idea he was in the country illeagally. Now I feel a little bad letting him cheat off my history tests in high school. Maybe if he had honestly earned an education he wouldn't be a homeless illegal immigrant. Oh well I'll get over it.

Well Enjoy. 

Wacky Stacky Stocky Room

I always thought that being forced to wear a tie meant you had to have the answers to questions that I, a simple non-tie-guy, do not have. It seems that this is not always true.

While you are surfing you should check out the blog of my old friend Pepe. I haven't read it yet but I promised him a link. He was an exchange student from Mexico during my freshmen year of high school and I remember he was always a pretty funny guy so you should check him out.

Well Enjoy.

Redneck Parent Teacher Association

Hello all. I'm finally done with the night shift for a while anyway.

This was going to be my submission for Pluggers but I think it works fine here. I hate evil rasists, but I do like it when people crap their pants or robes or whatever.

Klansmen are just angry guys that really like the gay not scary ghost halloween costume. Do you think that members of hate groups refer to their own groups as hate groups?

Well Enjoy

Great Gassy Goth Guy

Well I'm working third shift this week and maybe next. All types of evil lurks in that foul and shrouded time. Did you know that not everyone sleeps from sundown 'til around noon the next day? Such a strange world we live in. 

Backroom of Doom

Once I was almost killed by a falling pallet of kitty litter. I was so impressed by how cool this falling pallet looked someone had to tell me to move. It was either the fault of dangerous work practices or possibly a plot by the evil Catwoman.

Well Enjoy. 

The Return of the Thing

Why do they try to return stuff? Why do I enjoy stopping them? Because my friends, they are asses and I'm a jerk.

My buddie Isaac will be on his way to Nepal today. If you know him wish him well. He is on his way to visit his little brother who is either The Golden Child or the Little Buddha. Isaac beware the Yeti.

Well Enjoy. 

The Great JB Caper

Ok if you're new your gonna want to look at Damn Headlight Elves, The Search for Justice, and then On the Case. That should get you up to speed.

Well Enjoy. 

He's got to do something after the White House.

Yeah that's about how I feel about this guy, Bush. He plays in poop. Also he is probably a necrophiliac. Well Enjoy. 

JB is 007 in Satisfaction Guarenteed

This kind of thing happens more than you'ld think. Some dude will be all like, "Die, JB!" and I make with the smack-smack. Then, all the honey babies are up on my Love Jones.

Well Enjoy. 

Hello, Mr. Ranger.

Yes, I am really at my best in the great outdoors with only the resources provided by nature and my own wits to support me. Ok, maybe not, but it could have been worse. I could have had to deal with that damn sasquatch.

Alright, I was never an employee of any parks department. I am, in fact, a liar. That is one way that me and comic strip JB are different. Can you name any other ways we are different? Oh, and don't just say that the real me is fatter.

Well Enjoy. 

FPS (First Person Shitter)

Ah, getting paid to go to the bathroom the best part of any job. Seriously, I almost can't go anymore unless I'm on the clock. This would really be a dream day for me. I go in to work, use the bathroom and leave. 

Comic Remix - Read carefully

Before you accuse me of just reposting Monday's comic, look very closely. I'm trying something new here. Last Friday I did not update. Instead of giving you nothing, I took a look back at a previous post to see if it could be made funnier. I think this works.
Anyway customers ask the same dumbassed questions again and again. 

The Hook

Yeah so this is every fishing trip for the last to years for me. No wait that's not true I caught a turtle last year.

I guess even fish know that there is no such thing as a free iPod or psp or ring tone. Some of those ads that are also games are pretty fun though. I played this really hard kung fu ad the other day. It was honestly more fun than the last console game I played.

Also the original photo of this beach had an old naked Austrailian man on it. Sorry to all of you who would have rather seen that. Well Enjoy.

Ending Up on the Cutting Room Floor

Alright this is a touchy subject with me. So, maybe I overreacted. I've been told I've been a little bit on edge lately. I don't know why. But Come on. Seriously, Come on. Look at this comparison between full and wide screen. Who is that guy behind Vader? Was he not supposed to be there? Is that why the director had him cut completely out of the fullscreen version? In the beginning of Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade when young Indy is running from dudes, the full screen version has him running from fewer guys. This makes Indy look like a bit of a pussy. I think we all know that Indy is no pussy.

Well Enjoy.

The Social Contract is Broken

First, this guy goes to the wrong urinal and then he has got to talk? What the hell? He wasn't even making appropriate bathroom conversation about baseball or the weather. I feel my reaction is totally appropriate, if not alittle too subdued. 

Puking Words

So this is a big part of what goes on in any retail electronics store. People use the word "download" to mean open, run, import, export, install, burn, copy, rip, and upload, but almost never does anyone mean download. Then, they want to get their old obsolete hardware to work perfectly with any other incompatible hardware.

Oh also, that Guy's T-Shirt used to be white. Well Enjoy

On the Case

Well, Officer Tiberius Speedy is on the case of the missing headlight and his cracking a few skulls.
The actual Officer T. Speedy had yet to finish filling out the police report the last time I had checked. Its not that I expect the return of my headlight, but I need that report for my insurance claim. Also I'm pretty sure it was Jackasses and not elves that took my headlight.

Well Enjoy. 

The Search for Justice

This is pretty much what happened. Except, the Sheriff's car wasn't the coolest car ever. My headlight assembly was stolen from my car last week. When I called the cops a few days later (after I called my insurance company and every salvage yard in 100 miles), the officer who arrived seemed to have a very Well-this-shit-happens attitude. Someone at work told me that headlight theft happens often enough to inspire a story on 60 Minutes or some such show.

Oh and to those of you having trouble viewing the comics, you need to click them. That makes them bigger.

Damn Headlight Elves

 

Career Paths

 

Every Game Night In History

WTF

Hey a new comic and it was filmed in Five-o-vision